Miss Fantastica

Absolute brilliance. So much for being complicated.

i've done so much.
yet im still wrong?

the annual curtain call

2009 isnt actually a good year.

i lost freedom.
i lost pride.
i lost faith.
i lost hope

the year started off with me getting home quarantine for chicken pox, only to lose my freedom to SAF some few months later. greatness.

then my bday wkend was burned in bmt. and a few people i hoped to give me their well wishes didnt.

i slogged my guts out at work and in camp. for whom? nonetheless, my contributions were totally not recognised and cast aside.

i knew the odds were somewhat against me then. i tried harder till my old ailments decided to call back home. the tide could never be turned now. people now potrayed me as weak and lazy.

injuriesinjuriesinjuries. they kept coming at one point of time. my ippt results was ruined, my trainings have gone down the drain.

i grew into a hermit there and then.


over this cavern however was still hope.

i had time. alot of time to do some rehab.
it worked out fine until i decided to take flight too early.

in fact i realised i didnt lose anything at all.
good conscience always shadow negativity.
i may be battered. but i'm not beaten.

cya 2009. another month and you will be history.

Fantasy

A timely escape from reality

seriously

i want to play with photoshop.
but i got no ideas at all. :/

its been v long.

my knees go jello, my tongue get knotty, my heart goes beatboxin and my brain goes breakdancin;
from the moment i sense ur presence.

misses

i still remember our first conversation.
yes the very first one.

random ramblings

i realised of late im lacking sufficient confidence.
not a good sign.

i realised as usual i cant control parts of me when im tired.
talk about "shag cannot think".

being bossy isn't exactly bad.
just dont overdo it, dont abuse your power and show some courtesy bossing.
or being a respectful boss some say.

just three issues to raise.
guess that's enough.

this week so far

it doesnt look good. seriously.
i'm sick, i'm tired, com is down, saturday gonna get burnt, gonna miss mini gathering with 6/1 pals on friday, learnt about getting posted out next month yesterday meaning no more direct bus rides home.
its just a rotten week.
well, i'm counting on my health to pick up by end of the week.
that will definitely lift up my mood.

Me

Current mood: moody

i feel like taking up a new sport or learning a new skill.
but i'm not feeling my body though.

NS life sucks. total waste of time.

2011

seems so far away.
sighs.
its freaking 2009 only.

Morale

it's such an important thing. yet im totally lacking it.

wasted?

i wonder if i have better things to do during dismount days than stay at home and do unproductive stuff.

....

the weather's hot//
making me perspire everynow and then//

i'm reallyreally tired//

RAGE!

it appears my engine isn't out of steam yet.
good.

down

that's the direction my fitness level is heading.

trapped

i'm currently stucked in a kind of life i never visioned myself to be in.
this kind of life just isnt suitable.

lapses.

a day went pass, the next carried on. another day arrives.
the cycle carries on and on and on until the day we stop counting.

my first wkend came since duty started, and it breezed pass me soon after.
i adore wkends, though i usually don't get any productive moments.
but i just don't have the luxury of wkends anymore.

i don't have a choice.

" There is no 'i' in 'team', but there is 'i' in 'win'. " - Michael Jordan

impossible life

is there too much rest time or is there too little?
today i felt like i was drowned in a whiskey tub and soberness was lighyears away.

i'm hypnotised and i'm probably on the verge of getting brainwashed as well.

to add to my misery, i've probably lost all motivation as well.

roots

its always good to remember where you first started.
where you grew up...

today is the day i looked back, to find out who i really was.
its a fruitful day.

life now, as it is.

i will run tmr morning and do some pt.
i mean it.

since then

ever since coming to this new camp, i've been feeling really sleepy and lethargic.
and im totally unmotivated, lazy and yadayada to get a gold for ippt this year.
after a run today, i realise my fitness level isnt up there and my ankle doesnt make life any better.

灰暗的世界

掉了

心疼的玫瑰　
半夜还开著　
找不到匆匆掉落的花蕊
回到现场却已来不及　
等待任何回音都不可得

微弱的风筝　
冬天里飘著　
回不去手中缠线的那个
没有蓝天　
又何必去飞　
怎么适合

黑色笑靥掉了　
雪白眼泪掉了　
该出现的所有表情瞬间掉了
瞳孔没有颜色　
结了冰的长河　
回忆是最可怕的敌人

故事情节掉了　
主角对白掉了　
该属于剧中的对脚戏也掉了
胸口没有快乐　
断了翅的白鸽　
不枯萎的藉口全掉了

曾经唱过的歌　
分享过的笑声　
在心中不断拉扯
想念不能承认　
偷偷擦去泪痕　
冬天过了还是会很冷

stained by green.

i'm living in a greengreen world; so very green.

“想你的时候就像掉进一个黑洞...”

yet again

injury hit again.
its the same old ankle.
overstretched i guess.
luckily recovery rate seems extremely hopeful.
almost missed mp pop rehearsal, almost couldnt take part in monday's pop.

but money flew out of my grasp again.
- i missed ippt bcos of the injury.
and at a time when i believed gold actually was a possibility.

section outing after a tiring day

the excessive manual labour we carried out spoilt most of our mood. a planned section outing almost gone up in dust. nevertheless it still happened and it was a happy night. but not everyone was present though. and i personally needed time out rather then keeping myself from flaring up at home.
i missed the last train for the first time ever, but luckily jason was kind enough to turn back and fetch me home. let pictures do the talking courtesy of a-a-a-aaron.

the excessive manual labour we carried out spoilt most of our mood.
a planned section outing almost gone up in dust.
nevertheless it still happened and it was a happy night. but not everyone was present though.
and i personally needed time out rather then keeping myself from flaring up at home.
i missed the last train for the first time ever, but luckily jason was kind enough to turn back and fetch me home.

let pictures do the talking courtesy of a-a-a-aaron. (oh nvm the add image icon isnt accessible check back nxt time)

education

we all receive eudcation.
yet education separates us.
more often than not, even discrimination occurs.
so is education actually helpful in our social circle or not?

it just wasnt my week.

'i missed a chance on getting some free money again.
why must things always be this close?

'the weather was horrendous.
HOTHOTHOT.


'True colours shine through over time.
mine has shone as well, probably.


'setbacks push you deeper down the abyss.
determination pull u our of there.

im determined to shine, but my guts went missing.


'shag week awaiting. im looking for the better.

renewed life

changed my blogpic.
it's under "mylifebuttons" series.
pause was the first creation of the series, with this current pic as the main cover.

my wrist doesnt seem good.
quick recovery seems bleak.
i always hated sprains since it nearly cost me a place in the team.
now its starting to cloud my future.
5 weeks already.
must it stay with me like how my ankle one did?
the thought of a dislocated wrist and losing the usability of my right hand scares me.
lets hope next week's ippt will be good. a pass will be fine for me now.

mid-course

time flew by yet again, faster than expected.
life has been OK so far, much more demanding than expected.
people's perception do change, so has mine.


it is always a priviledge to get what u yearn for.
so whatever happens in the future, embrace it with an open heart.


one can never find fun in anything if he don't believe in the existence of fun anyway.

weekends

weekends, they never had been so important.
to have guard duty is like taking a piece of somthing from your body.
i'm considered free, but i've always hated regimentations.
one less day to rest means so much.

it's been a long time since i met most of my friends. oh how much i miss them.

good times don't last long.

life's mundane

book in book out book in book out
eat sit sleep eat sit sleep eat sit sleep

it's funny why i always lose all my intention of going out on weekends whenever i get out of camp. guess i'm addicted to not moving about much lately. :/

face it.

turning your back against something isn't an option most of the time.
we just gotta face it.

creak, crack, squeak`!

my lazy bones is acting up.

embracing a new phase of life isn't easy.
i'm like schooling now with schoolmates that fail to impress me.
having a good mentality is important, otherwise nothing will be achieved.

i'm not exactly having a hell of a life now, but im much satisfied with it.

restrictions

i'm restricted by these things we call "bad situations".
or some say "unforeseen/forseened circumstances"

i have nearly forgotton how these 2 particular things brought much restriction to my life, until they come back to haunt me once more.


oh and tmr is the start of a new phase in ns, im first just hoping that i have good mates around in camp.

i miss you so

opportunities and chances doesn't knock on your door many times.
cherish them.

Looking back.

it's abit late, but still it deserves a recount.

BMT is over. For the past few days, i have been trying to keep myself occupied with books and outings and, yes you guessed it, basketball.

today morning reality bites back, vocation posting is out.
MP and the camp is freaking far away from home.

everyone goes different paths this time around, hoping to get a better life than expected.

i wish everyone luck.

injury bug bites

that does it.
i got a sprained wrist.

a moment of realisation

Since POP, every one, every one that i meet says that i have become skinnier.

i glanced at the mirror, stupified.

i see serious poverty within me.

destined

somethings in life are just meant to be.
they call it destiny.

both works above cover destiny together with some other issues in a nice way.

worth a catch, worth a read.

pointless rush?

'what's the rush for?' i questioned myself.

i reduced my pace.
my walk to the library turned into a stroll.

i walked to the library computer, took my time to think about whose book i felt like reading.
got the 2 books i knew about, although the second one came by luck.
ended up grabbing a third book that had a really nice cover.
the 4th book caught my eye and i decided to borrow it as well since it looks super new.

so now i have 4 books, planned schedules, an illness and very little time.

'what's the rush for?'

destiny

"it is written"
somethings in life are pre-destined.
no doubt.


my eyes are bursting from the excessive watching of old movies online.

since ns started, i have watched more movies than before when i had so much more free time.
slumdog millionaire, madagascar 2, igor, open season 2, lakehouse, journey to the center of the earth, howl's moving castle.
more awaits.

Something new.

check it out.
http://www.w-qing.blogspot.com/

Another new skin

Welcome.
This recent skin is inspired by a photoshop tutorial online.
gathered new stock images, fonts and brushes to create this skin.

the code part is still lacking alot.

otherwise, major issues will still be covered on alittleboy.

awaiting nothing.

in life, we wait.

we wait to get out of our mom's wombs.
we wait to be hungry and eat.
we wait to grow taller, bigger, stronger.
we wait to grow up.
we wait for chances.
we wait for opportunities.
we wait for someone we planned to meet.
we wait for the special one.
other times, we wait for stupid things.
and many a time, we wait for nothing at all.

seems like we adore waiting very much.




oh and by the way, fyi i POP-ed.
and im waiting for my vocation posting.

i'll wait...
i have to wait.

goodbye island

3 more days to pop!

it had been a great time.

Home sweet Home.

short but tiring week. and im back home safe and sound.

dinner at home after sakae buffet was a toture. bloatedbloatedbloated.

i'm craving for choc banana bbt!



footnote:
"who deserves to preach about integrity anyway?"
everyone tell lies in someway or another.

a gruesome 2 weeks ended and i'm finally back home.
booking out was never so revitalising before.

its ending

exactly one more month and i will be yelling "POP LO"
and i will be relieved from all the tekong nonsense and have some well earned rest.

i fkin hate bugs now.
mosquitoes, flying ants, moths, bedbugs, 7cm grasshoppers. i fkin hate em.
add those "life in the undergrowth" in.
fkin bugs.
bloody irritating.

it was a tiring week just as i expected.

the week didnt started off well. i forgot to bring thermometer during bk in. how great. end up kena scam $6 for a noob thermometer.(actually this thermometer takes temperature real quickly so its technically not a noob thermometer.)

definitely going to be a hell week tmr.

fighting spirit!

P.S discovery centre still sucks. lol. it seriously needs to be teared down. lol.

this is so annoying. my long weekend is nearly over. zzz.
i sense fierce days ahead, i bttr start praying again for a good life.

i was heartbroken. it hurts so much.

im thinkin of what to write in my journal.

bookout day.

the long awaited day arrived.

heavy bags dirty laundry and a foreign computer screen.
life has changed.

i've packed my bag, i've set my mood. i'm leaving home.


the tekong vacation is here!
there's free food and lodging what more can i ask for?


i'll be back in 18 days.
tata~

i hit the shot, the shot went through.


10/04
dinnered with the gang at whitesands before heading out to tmart lan.
i would assume it was a get-together we have long awaited for.

its a dangerous thing to not being able to get off an escalator when you are supposed to, luckily tampines one realised such a danger.


11/04
bballed for a finalfinal time bfore enlistment. other than leaving early, it was a rather good session.
headed out to pray, dropped by my grandma's hm, and shop for some toiletries for bmt.
dinnered at the Square @ Furama Hotel to celebrate my grandma's bday(another one). a lousy buffet that has little selection of food. so i ended up stoning in a corner.


bmt starts on tuesday. a new life awaits.


there are still things i cant let go of but i have to.

i'm losing my swagger, i'm losing my composure.

i'm defintely losing my mind.

no more bballing. ns awaits.
sadness.

seeing students in uniforms nowadays, just makes me want to live that life again.

thank god i have no broken ankles this april 4th.
last year's sprain left me horrified.

it's as if the sun is becoming an extremist, burning itself happily and releasing such ridiculously unbearable heat.

kids these days are even kiasu-er than their parents.
the society is defintely getting worse off.

i need a push to scale greater heights.

tiring day.
no further words.

american idol ltr. woots.

i had a nice dream last night. so nice.

i'm being lazy again. i skipped running today. :/

testpost

i'm undecided.
biz... chem... commonengineering... which one to put first? hmm.

i feel so detached from the bball all of a sudden. i wonder when i'll get to play again.

i can say im rather busy lately trying to fix my gum troubles that forced me to stay home for the past few days. that made me miss a trip down to adidas sale today.

laziness still clings onto me like a pest. i've planned to start 2.4 trainings last week, but obviously i haven ran at all. still gyming with bk yj wq though.

a week and a few days more to apply for uni and im still pretty much indecisive on what course to apply for. :/

american reality rocks! the latest season of hell's kitchen is damn happening. survivor didnt air though. amazing race is still nice. but i love this season's american idol, there is so much wonderful vocal action on display, my 2 hrs in front of the TV felt great. adam lambert is good seriously. danny kris and matt arent bad as well. :)

NS is coming lo

pardon me dear readers(if any) for not updating. i didnt felt like it.

results wasnt bad like i predicted. only regret is not getting an A for chem. :/

a week has passed since then, and i had been pondering over what courses to apply for.
been to the openhouses for nus and ntu yesterday which left me more confused and indecisive than before.
i guess i'll narrow my scope down to biz and engineering.

hurt my groin unknowingly, leaving me limping 2 nights ago and getting embarassed over losing balance and landing on some public's laps on the shuttle bus to nus. :/
my fitness training have to stop until i get my groin fixed.

yes im old, but i ain't 19 yet.

few months back we were still mugging maths outside the library, and friday is the day we will reap what we sowed. don't frown dudes. lol.

i face drastic weather changes day-to-day.
its as if someone is calling upon the rain to stop me from running.
damn it. 1 month more, that's about all the time i have for training.

i'm having mixed feelings about results day. some part of me tells me to watch out, some part of me tells me that it will be smooth sailing from then onwards. ha.

the weather turned cool and wet some few days ago, spoiling any plans for a jog.
oh wells.

i wonder how, i wonder why...

hmm...
i always wondered how some people can be such assholes without realising it or if they realised it but make no attempt to be remorseful about their rubbish behaviour.

its another wonder why human beings are programmed to have something u call tolerance level and yet have an inbuilt conscience that sort of stops you from blasting off when you have maxed your patience. ironic isn't it.

its no wonder why it is said that human beings is the most intrigued system on our planet Earth.

ok its time to be positive and spread some optimism.

i will get good A lvl grades.
i will get at least 3 As.

:D

i'm wasting my life away.

i guess that sums up what happened over the past few weeks.

nothing much have happened since i last blogged.
went for a job interview with elmer esmond and wilson, and we're all awaiting our replies.

its feb, 2 more months to NS and god knows how long more to release of results.

it's going to be another lonely and long week ahead. :/

i went back school to bball on wednesday. and i couldn't help but feel lethargic the next day.
it's good though at least i got the sun, got a workout i desperately needed, and im proud to say im back on track to regaining fitness. :)

CNY is coming! but alas, i cant feel it. maybe it's bcos of the financial apocalypse saying going around lately.

happy new year everyone.

i want to go for a run, i want to play basketball, i want to workout.
but sadly i cant...
cos im still sicksicksick.
im sick till i dont even feel like saying hi to the person i so want to say hi to.
zzz.

apart from adding colours to this all but vibrant blog, im here to make a stand.
raspberries and blueberries make desserts perfect. the uber sweetness and juices from these berries adds a whole lot of taste to an other wise bland dessert. and obviously their colours are just plain beautiful. it adds a whole lot of meaning to desserting.
:D

mental block

i need a new url, something shorter and more recognisable.
i need a new blogpic/skin.

problem is im mentally blank and my ideas are rather short.
inspirationless 2009. weird.